Screams in the night
by Exploded Pen
Summary: Old memories, old fears, and it all hinges on conquering that fear, but can it be conquered? Complete!
1. Old fears

~*~Disclaimer=me no own~*~Hmm, dunno why I wrote this-think I was bored- Enjoy! Oh and the poem is by my best friend so please don't use it without her permission~*~  
  
*He stood there in darkness, feeling its clammy fingers envelop him, swallowing him whole and all he did was stand there as a voice echoed round his head sounding like his own:  
  
People are talking,  
  
Their words make no sense,  
  
My head is surrounded  
  
By a high fence.  
  
Fear upon fear,  
  
Doubt upon doubt.  
  
But the creatures are crawling  
  
So I can't get out.  
  
If the creatures could stop  
  
Then I'd be let go  
  
But I'll stop it up  
  
Mustn't let the tears flow  
  
Nothings going out  
  
It's just staying in  
  
As agony crawls  
  
Inside of my skin.  
  
There's no hope for me  
  
I'm too full of dread.  
  
Trapped in a prison  
  
Inside of my head  
  
Can't get out of my head,  
  
My mind deep in thought.  
  
Didn't know the pain that  
  
One person has brought.  
  
I'm full of hate  
  
Grief and despair  
  
They think they know me  
  
They don't even care  
  
Fear upon fear,  
  
Doubt upon doubt,  
  
'Cause the creatures are crawling  
  
So I can't get out.  
  
The darkness cleared and he could see the body of a man on the ground, arms slit from elbow to wrist. His face contorted. Blood flowing freely across Malcolm's feet, his hands stained red and all he could do was stare, feeling the deep agonising screams pounding within his chest.*  
  
Archer wandered absentmindedly round the deck Porthos at his side. He was deep in thought and was enjoying the peace that filled the deck. He hadn't seen many people but he hadn't expected too. The night shift was notoriously boring.  
  
Porthos padded alongside him, being unusually quiet knowing that people were probably sleeping somewhere nearby.  
  
A small noise brought him from his thoughts. He looked to see where it might be coming from but was met by grey doors and grey walls.  
  
All of a sudden a volley of screams rang through the deck. The pain and utter fear that echoed within them sent shivers down his spine. He realised someone must be having a nightmare. The source of the screams seemed to be coming from a door near the end of the corridor. Archer realised that it was Malcolm's quarters. All down the corridor doors were opening to see what the commotion was.  
  
"Go back to bed-I'll sort this," he told them.  
  
They nodded sleepily and retreated to the comfort of their beds.  
  
Archer used his authorisation code to get into Malcolm's quarters.  
  
He was obviously in great distress, tears flowing freely down his cheeks, screams still falling from his lips, quilt cover scrunched up in a ball.  
  
"Malcolm, wake up," Archer urged shaking his shoulder.  
  
Malcolm woke up and immediately stuck out, hitting Archer to the ground.  
  
"Captain? I'm so sorry!"  
  
"Forget it Malcolm," said Archer, wincing as he touched his eye.  
  
Realisation dawned on Malcolm.  
  
"Why are you here sir? Am I needed on the bridge?" Malcolm asked looking confused, seemingly unaware his eyes were all red and puffy with tear stains down his cheeks or that he still had his quilt in a vice grip.  
  
"You were screaming in your sleep," Archer told him, sitting down. "Must've been one hell of a nightmare."  
  
Malcolm blushed.  
  
Archer wanted to stay and talk it out with Malcolm but from previous experience he knew Malcolm would keep silent and keep saying he was fine. He didn't particularly want him to order to tell him.  
  
"I didn't realise, I'm sorry," he apologised sounding slightly flustered.  
  
"Don't worry about it," said Archer.  
  
There was an uneasy pause, where Malcolm stared at his quilt avoiding Archer's searching gaze.  
  
"Do you have many nightmares?" Archer asked, deciding not to tiptoe round it.  
  
"No sir."  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"Not particularly sir."  
  
"Ok, well you know where I am if you want to talk. Pleasant dreams Malcolm."  
  
"Good night sir."  
  
Malcolm watched Archer leave his small dog in tow and heaved a sigh of relief. He dragged himself up from his bed and peered at his reflection in the bathroom mirror.  
  
He hadn't had that dream in a long time.  
  
'Fear upon fear, doubt upon doubt.........'  
  
He thought briefly what had brought it on. It'd been years and years since he had read that poem, seen the body lying beside it and yet he could still see it fresh it in his mind as though it happened only moments ago.  
  
He'd been embarrassed that Archer had found him and even more horrified that he'd hit him as he woke.  
  
He splashed cold water on his face and returned to his bed. He found the book he'd been reading and picked up where he left off.  
  
But the poem kept surfacing in his head and guilty feelings emerged. He should've noticed that man was unhappy, he should've done something, but he hadn't and the man had taken his own life.  
  
He should've noticed his brother was unhappy, he should've tried to help him but he didn't. He didn't. If he could go back and change it he would. But the only son his father truly loved took his own life leaving only the poem behind.  
  
He'd spent his whole life knowing that his father thought he should've died instead of his brother.  
  
*Fear upon fear,  
  
Doubt upon doubt,  
  
'Cause the creatures are crawling,  
  
So I can't get out.*  
  
He sighed and closed his book. After all these years he still didn't know why his brother did it. But all he knew was it'd haunt his dreams for the rest of his life because he just couldn't let go.  
  
~*~Please review, I know slightly dodgy and morbid but tell me your thoughts-they always help!~*~ 


	2. Insomnia

~*~Disclaimer=me no own~*~Well this was gonna be a one chapter thing but then even I got confused and suddenly had a flash of inspiration while on stage (then fell over a table in my excitement-not fun!) so here's a continuation~*~  
  
Archer nodded in greeting to his senior staff as he entered the Bridge. Hoshi and Travis treated him with a smile; T'Pol merely nodded her head slightly but Malcolm didn't even raise his head.  
  
Archer noted the lack of reaction with worry, it'd been a nearly a week since he'd found his armoury officer screaming and although he hadn't heard anything since he'd noticed Malcolm was looking more exhausted by the day.  
  
He had dark smudges beneath his eyes and seemed to be attempting to smother another yawn as he tried to focus on the information on the screen in front of him.  
  
Archer silently made up his mind to have a few words with Malcolm later on before turning his attention to the view screen and staring at the anomaly outside.  
  
It was beautiful. Made up of swirling purples and blues like a thin veil across space, the colours constantly changing shade. It was oddly serene and the entire crew seemed more calm and content because of it.  
  
T'Pol had been performing tests and scans since they first found it over a week ago, she'd made progress but told Archer she needed more time to get a full picture of exactly what it was.  
  
Malcolm flicked through the information on his screen. He'd given up trying to process it fully, he was shattered. But he didn't dare sleep for everytime he closed his eyes he could see his brothers bloody body at his feet and that damned poem by his side.  
  
He mentally shouted at himself for being such a coward-an armoury officer afraid of his own dreams!  
  
The shift seemed to drag on forever, finally at lunchtime he managed to find the energy to go to the Mess Hall and get another cup of coffee.  
  
Coffee wasn't his preferred drink but it kept him awake better than tea. Trip grinned at him from a nearby table.  
  
"Hey Mal."  
  
Malcolm nodded in acknowledgement and sat down.  
  
Trip frowned.  
  
"Ya look tired," he told him.  
  
Malcolm glared at him.  
  
"What's the matter?" Trip asked ignoring the expression on Malcolm's face.  
  
"Insomnia," Malcolm replied reluctantly.  
  
"Well ya look dead on ya feet," Trip surmised staring intently at his friend. "Why don't ya see if Phlox can help?"  
  
"I'm not that desperate," Malcolm muttered darkly.  
  
Trip grinned.  
  
They sat in silence for a while.  
  
'Malcolm.........'  
  
"What?" Malcolm asked yawning.  
  
"I didn't say anything," said Trip looking up from his plate.  
  
"I thought I heard someone say my name," said Malcolm staring round the room.  
  
"Ya must being going crazy in ya old age, anyway I gotta go," said Trip quickly getting up.  
  
"Hey! You're older than me!" Malcolm called after him looking annoyed.  
  
* * *  
  
He wandered down the corridor towards his quarters, yawning all the way.  
  
'Malcolm............'  
  
He looked back down the corridor. Empty. He shrugged it off and entered his quarters.  
  
He could see the anomaly from his window and stared at it a moment.  
  
'Hello Malcolm, long time no see.'  
  
He whipped round and nearly cried out in shock, stopping himself just in time.  
  
Malcolm was practically paralysed with fear.  
  
'What kind of greeting's that little bro?'  
  
~*~Please review, because now there's a true plot I know that it will get weirder before it gets clearer!~*~ 


	3. British Bulldog

~*~Disclaimer=me no own~*~ Aww! Thanks for all the reviews! They're really encouraging!~*~  
  
Malcolm stared in a mix of disbelief and shock at the figure before him.  
  
'Aren't you gonna say something?'  
  
"M........Ma.........Matthew," he stammered.  
  
'The one and only!'  
  
Malcolm just simply stared. The figure before him looked exactly like his brother, same dark hair, blue eyes, same build and same grin on his face. But tell tale cuts were on his arms from elbow to wrist and he looked ghostly white.  
  
Matthew noticed him staring at his arms.  
  
'Some things I couldn't erase, after all you did let me die.'  
  
"You killed yourself," Malcolm whispered finally finding his voice.  
  
'We both know why.'  
  
Matthew looked around the room.  
  
'Nice place, cold, clinical, hospital corners on your bed.........nice........ Dad would've been proud.'  
  
Malcolm stiffened.  
  
"Who are you and what are you doing here?" he asked. "My brother died when I was sixteen, if this is some sick joke..........."  
  
'Oh don't get so high and mighty-it doesn't suit you. You know exactly who I am. I'm your brother Malcolm,' said Matthew grinning  
  
"You're dead," said Malcolm quietly as if trying to convince himself.  
  
'You'd think so wouldn't you?' Matthew told him. 'But I've got unfinished business with you and you know what? I'm getting bored now.'  
  
"Bridge to Lt Reed" the comm. chirped.  
  
'Ignore it Malcolm, we're gonna play a game now. Remember that one we used to play when we were little? British Bulldog?'  
  
((a/n there is a game called British Bulldog but it's not the one that's mentioned here-this is a completely different game))  
  
Malcolm recoiled, he knew that game. Matthew's favourite game to play. The name sent shivers down his spine. That game was the reason he learnt self defence.  
  
Matthew advanced on him grinning. Malcolm hit out at him, his hand passing through Matthews face.  
  
'Did I forget to mention that?'  
  
Malcolm braced himself for impact when the door opened.  
  
"Mal, I've been looking over those specs' ya gave me," said Trip coming into the room, he looked up seeing the expression of disbelief on his friends face. "Sorry I didn't knock but ya take too long in openin' the door."  
  
"No it's fine," said Malcolm a feeling of relief flooding through him when he realised Matthew had disappeared.  
  
As he followed Trip from his quarters he heard a voice say:  
  
'Sweet dreams Mal.'  
  
A chill ran down his spine.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~  
  
"The evidence suggests the anomaly seems to be a living entity," T'Pol announced.  
  
"Can we contact it?" Archer asked curiously.  
  
"I do not know," T'Pol admitted. "However in this past week it has grown considerably."  
  
Everyone's attention turned to the viewscreen.  
  
The thing outside had now taken on a much darker hue with flecks of grey dotted around. It was a strangely beautiful sight.  
  
Malcolm stared at it, his thoughts turning to the events in his quarters. As soon as he had got to his station he'd run a full scan of the ship but come up empty handed. He could still see his brother stood there taunting him with little jibes. As much as he hated to admit it he was afraid to go back to his quarters.  
  
He was afraid of a dead man.  
  
After all these years his brother still had a hold over him.  
  
"Malcolm?"  
  
Realising he was been talked to he tore his attention away from the viewer.  
  
"I'd like to have a word with you in my ready room," said Archer looking concerned. "Now."  
  
Sighing Malcolm followed Archer to his ready room.  
  
"I'm worried about you Malcolm," he said immediately.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"You obviously haven't been sleeping, is it the nightmares?"  
  
Malcolm didn't reply.  
  
"Do you want to tell me about them?"  
  
Malcolm remained silent.  
  
"I could order you to tell me, but I'd prefer it for you to tell me by choice."  
  
Malcolm stared Archer straight the eyes.  
  
"I'd prefer not to say."  
  
"It's affecting you Malcolm, I need my staff alert, I can't have one of them suffering silently because they feel they can't talk to anyone."  
  
"With all due respect sir it's my business not yours."  
  
"I make it my business. I don't want to order you to talk but I will if you won't cooperate."  
  
"I dream I'm in a room, there's a body on the floor and I can't move."  
  
Archer studied Malcolm's face intently. He knew Malcolm wasn't telling the whole truth and wanted to press him further but a tired worn out look was on Malcolm's face and he couldn't bring himself to ask.  
  
"Go see Phlox, see if he can help you sleep and take the rest of the day," Archer told him. "We'll continue this tomorrow. No arguments. Dismissed."  
  
Malcolm marched into the turbo lift a feeling of dread settling on him.  
  
~*~Please review! I know where this is going but I'd still like to know your thoughts~*~ 


	4. The game begins

~*~Disclaimer=me no own~*~ I know I've taken ages in updating and it'll probably take ages before the next chapter goes up but bear with me! Thanks to all my reviewers you're really giving me loads of ideas without even saying anything!~*~  
  
Malcolm stood at the doors of sickbay not moving, simply staring at the doors. Finally he turned heel and marched back into the turbo-lift.  
  
'Hey there lil bro.'  
  
Instantly Malcolm shrank back against the turbo-lift door. Matthew grinned.  
  
'You're not scared of me are you?'  
  
Malcolm didn't say a word but his gaze travelled towards the turbo-lift doors. Matthew noticed and calmly reached out and hit the emergency stop button.  
  
'Now where were we?'  
  
"Why are you doing this?" Malcolm asked a note of fear in his voice.  
  
Matthew grabbed Malcolm's throat.  
  
Malcolm spluttered his hands flailing through the air where Matthew was.  
  
'You can't touch me.'  
  
Black spots began dancing in front of Malcolm's eyes from the lack of oxygen.  
  
"It's all your fault you know.'  
  
Malcolm's eyes closed and Matthew let go watching as his brother slipped to the floor.  
  
'Pleasant dreams.'  
  
He started up the turbo-lift again and disappeared.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"The anomaly is growing," said T'Pol closely examining the data at her station.  
  
"Do you know why?" Archer asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"It's pretty though," Hoshi commented, gazing at the fiery reds and purples of the anomaly outside.  
  
Archer smiled. Then he remembered Malcolm and decided to check whether Malcolm really had gone to see Phlox.  
  
"Archer to Sickbay."  
  
"Phlox here."  
  
"Doctor, did Lieutenant Reed drop by sickbay today?"  
  
"He was brought in about five minutes ago."  
  
"Brought in?"  
  
"Two crewmembers found him unconscious in the turbo-lift."  
  
"Is he alright?"  
  
"Stable. However at the moment it looks like he was attacked."  
  
"On my way. Archer out."  
  
"T'Pol you have the Bridge," he ordered stepping into the turbo-lift.  
  
'Hello Captain.'  
  
Archer jumped and stared open mouthed at the man stood opposite.  
  
"Malcolm?" he asked frowning.  
  
'Close, but no cigar. Although I suppose there is a family resemblance between us.'  
  
"Malcolm's brother?" Archer guessed. "What're you doing on my ship?"  
  
'Just paying little Mally a visit-by the way how is he?'  
  
"You attacked him?" asked Archer his mind reeling.  
  
'Attacked is such an ugly word, it's an old game we used to play Captain. No harm in that.'  
  
Matthew disappeared leaving Archer stood open-mouthed.  
  
The turbo-lift doors opened.  
  
"Are you alright Captain?" a crewman asked.  
  
Archer blinked and promptly closed his mouth.  
  
"I'm fine thank you," he replied, getting out and walking quickly towards sickbay.  
  
Doctor Phlox looked up from Malcolm's beside.  
  
"Captain," he acknowledged.  
  
"How is he?" Archer asked.  
  
"He'll be fine," Phlox assured him. "Other than a sore neck he should be fine, physically there's been no lasting damage."  
  
Archer nodded, his mind still going over the events in the turbo-lift.  
  
"Are you feeling alright Captain?" Phlox asked concerned.  
  
Archer nodded again.  
  
"Can you wake him?" he asked  
  
Phlox nodded and reached for the hypospray.  
  
~*~Please review! It helps!~*~ 


	5. Lies his brother told them

**0000000Disclaimer=me no own000000 Ooo thanks for the reviews! I know this is probably one of the more.........stranger things I've done but thanks for bearing with me! Anyway there is a reason why I haven't updated in ages which I'm really sorry for0000000  
**  
Malcolm stirred making a mental inventory of what hurt and what didn't before peeling his eyes open.  
  
"How're you feeling Malcolm?"  
  
"Fine," Malcolm rasped the customary response.  
  
Archer nodded for Phlox to leave them alone for a second then leaned in closer to Malcolm.  
  
"I saw him."  
  
Malcolm arranged his face into what he hoped was a confused expression noting how sore his neck was.  
  
"Your brother."  
  
Malcolm made no move to respond, he was frozen, unable to speak or make any movement. But inwardly his mind was racing and his thoughts tripping over each other.  
  
_The Captain knows about Matthew, how can he know about Matthew? It's not possible  
_  
Archer stared at his armoury officer intently seeing the glazed over look in his eyes the odd flicker of fear passing through. He knew then that Malcolm wouldn't say another word, he thought about dredging up his brothers records to get some sort about of background about him before tackling Malcolm again but with Malcolm's brother hanging round the ship he didn't want to leave it too long without finding some form of solution to the problem.  
  
"Malcolm?"  
  
"Sir, my brothers dead," Malcolm rasped finally finding his voice. "You must be mistaken."  
  
"Malcolm, I............" Archer began but stopped seeing Malcolm turn away wincing as he did so. "I'll talk to you later."  
  
Malcolm gave the barest of nods, his eyes slowly shutting again as Archer walked out of sickbay giving a quiet frustrated sigh.  
  
_'Aww, now that wasn't very nice was it?'_ Matthew said quietly appearing beside him and using his arm to pin his younger brother to the biobed. _'I was just about to make my big entrance.'  
_  
Malcolm trembled slightly struggling to keep his composure.  
  
'_There's no point in crying out lil bro, they'll just think you're insane,'_ Matthew whispered gently, smirking slightly. _'They wouldn't be the first ones either-would they?'  
_  
"Go away," Malcolm breathed trying to keep the fear from his voice.  
  
_'But I'll never go away Mally, I'll always be here,'_ Matthew taunted. _'I'll always be the son Dad wanted, the favourite; I'll always be the person you killed.'  
  
_"You killed yourself," Malcolm murmured tensing as Matthews arm pressed up against him with greater force.  
  
_'True,'_ Matthew chuckled. '_But the game of life was hard to play and I knew I was gonna lose it anyway so I thought the only way to win was cheat and that was the only painless feat. For me anyway, causing you pain was just an added bonus.'  
_  
Malcolm made no move to response as Matthew leant in closer his face inches away from Malcolm's using his free hand he gripped Malcolm's arm tightly.  
  
_'The person who wrote that song was a wise man lil bro,'_ he said smiling. _'Of course he was nowhere near in the league of your poetry.'  
_  
Malcolm stiffened.  
  
_'Oh I know you don't write anymore,'_ Matthew continued. _'Not since you found my body with your poem beside it-nice touch don't you think? Of course it only re enforced Father's hatred of you after all you killed his favourite son and heir.'  
_  
Malcolm tried to block out his brothers words but each word stung, each evil word lodged in his brain repeating over and over.  
  
Malcolm suddenly shifted trying to wriggle away. Matthew grabbed his arm in a vice like grip.  
  
_'I've broken your arm once Mally, I can do it again!'_ He hissed, shoving his brother back on the biobed. '_Just remember to watch your step, after all you just can't trust the technology these days-accidents will happen.'  
  
_With those final words he left leaving Malcolm shaking in fear.  
  
**00000Please review! Need thoughts!0000000000**


	6. Thoughts of a wanted man

**000000 Disclaimer=me no own 000000 Much appreciate the reviews-and just to let you know all will become clear..................not right now but it will do.......................0000000  
  
**Malcolm walked out of sickbay, his eyes nervously scanning the area ahead of him. The throbbing pain in his neck was an ever present reminder that his older brother was trying to kill him, well not kill him but more mess with his mind like he'd been so good at when they were younger.  
  
He stepped into the turbo-lift hesitantly, his muscles tensed up as the door closed.  
  
_'BOO!'_  
  
Malcolm jumped a mile as his brothers laughing face appeared.  
  
'_Jumpy aren't we?'_ said Matthew grinning.  
  
Malcolm said nothing, praying for the turbo-lift doors to open.  
  
_'You owe me,'_ Matthew stated.  
  
Malcolm looked up in surprise.  
  
_'The game is still on-you owe me, I won,'_ he said simply.  
  
When Malcolm didn't give the desired reply, Matthew grabbed his throat once more and shoved him up against the door.  
  
_'Don't be stupid Mally,'_ he said dangerously. _'You know what to say-you surely can't have forgotten the rules of play already?'  
_  
Malcolm closed his eyes.  
  
"British Bulldog," He whispered, hating himself even as he said in.  
  
_'Commence round two!_' Matthew exclaimed happily, he turned and faded out.  
  
Leaning heavily against the door, he fell out landing painfully on his back. He scrambled quickly to his feet, eternally thankful that no one had been around to see him fall.  
  
He walked down the corridor and halted in front of his quarters. Making a split second decision he turned on his heel and made his way down to the mess hall.  
  
The mess hall was packed with crew eating lunch but the second Malcolm walked in he could feel their gaze rest on him, more so on his bruised neck. He self consciously lowered his head slightly to hide it, grabbed the nearest meal and a cup of tea before going to sit down on the only empty table.  
  
He stared at his food not really knowing why he had even picked anything up, he wasn't hungry, he was just using the mess hall as an excuse not to go back to his quarters..................not to be alone.  
  
"Hey Malcolm."  
  
Malcolm head snapped up and he winced as pain shot through his neck.  
  
Trip stared back with concern and sat down.  
  
"Looks painful," he commented. "You know who did it?"  
  
"It looks worse than it is," Malcolm replied, sipping his tea.  
  
"Who did it?" Trip repeated, giving his friend a searching look.  
  
Malcolm didn't reply, concentrating hard on the swirling liquid inside his cup.  
  
_How can I tell him my brother that has been dead for over 12 years has suddenly come back to life, starting a game he used to play with me in order to destroy me?_  
  
Malcolm took a deep breath and looked up.  
  
"Have you ever heard of a game called British Bulldog?" he asked finally.  
  
Trip's expression changed to one of confusion, this clearly was not the answer he was expecting. He frowned in concentration for a moment, thinking hard. He shook his head and waited for an explanation.  
  
"It's a game with three stages," Malcolm began hesitantly; he stared back down at his cup again.  
  
"And?" Trip prompted, after a few minutes of silence.  
  
Malcolm jerked up from his trance and blinked.  
  
"It doesn't matter," he said backtracking quickly.  
  
Trip opened his mouth to say something but Malcolm shoved his chair back and fled the room attracting the attention of everyone else.  
  
Once back in his quarters he sat on his bed hugging his knees to him, his eyes flicking round the room trying to locate his brother. He was alone the one thing he'd been trying to avoid, he was now a prime target for Matthew.  
  
He remembered back to when they were younger, he and Matthew had been close- till Maddie was born, then Matthews's jealousy had surfaced. Malcolm had protected his baby sister thus taking the brunt of his brother's annoyance. Then as the years went by they'd simply drifted apart as Matthew became more and more violent. Stuart Reed had refused to acknowledge this; Matthew had always been the favourite son whilst Malcolm watched on in the background knowing he was the eternal disappointment.  
  
Yet Matthew still hated his brother, he created a new game a version of British Bulldog, one that involved causing Malcolm as much pain as physically possible. Malcolm shuddered as he remembered the first time Matthew had 'played' that game. He'd ended up in hospital, his father said He'd been mugged, it was then that Malcolm lost faith in his parents completely. He retreated more and more into his shell, preferring to write his poetry and to stay away from Matthew.  
  
Upon finding his poetry his disgusted father classed him as mentally unstable and was all but prepared to send him off to the nut house and disown him forever till His mother in one of her rare moments stood up for her son.  
  
Of course then, unexpectedly Matthew committed suicide on Malcolm's 15th birthday with one of Malcolm's poems by his side. Naturally his father assumed that Malcolm had killed Matthew despite the fact Malcolm had been at school when it happened.  
  
Malcolm shook his thoughts as the tap in the bathroom started dripping. Gingerly he stood up and slowly walked into the bathroom, his muscles tensing up and his heart pounding. He reached out and turned it off before returning quickly back to his bed.  
  
A sudden noise attracted his attention..................  
  
**0000 Review if ya would please! 000000**


	7. Its all in the mind

**0000 Disclaimer=me no own 0000 I know I haven't updated in a bout a month, that was due to a severe bout of writers block, but it's over now! :D. So thanks for all the reviews and I hope this chapter was worth the wait........0000**

_'Jumpy aren't we?'_ Matthew teased, leaning against the wall.

"Leave me alone," Malcolm begged, it came out as more of a pathetic whisper.

_'Or what? You'll stare me to death?'_ Matthew smirked. _'God, I'm funny, I knew I should've have a career as a comedian.'_

Malcolm backed onto his bed; Matthew grinned and took slow steps towards him.

The door opened revealing Trip.

"Who the hell are you?!" He demanded.

Matthew merely grinned and took a running jump into Malcolm who collapsed instantly.

Trip hit the comm.

"Tucker to sickbay, medical emergency in Lieutenant Reeds quarters!"

_Malcolm blinked and instantly shrank back in shock. He was in a small boat-completely surrounded by water._

'_Mally, what's the matter?' Matthew asked in a baby voice. 'Are you afwaid? Aww poor iccle Mally, you can't be afwaid now, this is nothing, just a bit of water.'_

_Matthew grinned at him, Malcolm stood completely frozen, not daring to move_.

"Doc, what's wrong with him?" Trip asked worriedly, running a hand through his hair.

"To all intents and purposes Commander, the Lieutenant is merely asleep," Phlox replied frowning.

"But I saw the guy jump right into him," Trip protested. "There has to be something you're missing-if he's just asleep why the hell won't he wake up?"

Phlox didn't reply and instead turned back to his monitors.

Trip looked over at Malcolm, Phlox was right-he did look like he was just asleep, in fact if Trip hadn't seen-well what he'd seen-he'd assume it was something else too.

"I know what I saw," he muttered.

"What's happening?" said Archer as he came through the doors.

"Something jumped right into Malcolm," said Trip folding his arms. "The doc's instruments say he's just asleep but I saw what I saw!"

"Doctor?"

"I'm afraid, none of my instruments are picking up any abnormalities," Phlox sighed. "From a medical point of view he's asleep."

"He's not asleep!" Trip exclaimed frustrated. "I saw the guy jump right into him, I was there I saw everything!"

"What did the guy look like?" Archer asked, reality dawning on him.

Trip opened his mouth then stopped.

"Trip?" Archer prompted.

"Well, he looked like Malcolm," Trip replied honestly.

"Matthew," Archer muttered.

'_I'm brilliant aren't I?' Matthew asked beaming, spreading his arms wide. 'Tell me I'm a genius.'_

_Malcolm remained silent, fear clawing at his very bones, rendering him speechless and unable to move._

_Suddenly the boat disappeared from beneath Malcolm's feet; he made a desperate grab for nothing before plunging into the icy water. Matthew peered down at him from where he was stood on top of the water._

_Malcolm resurfaced gasping, kicking his legs desperately, his mind racing._

'_What's the matter Malcolm?' Matthew grinned. 'Don't you like the water?'_

_Malcolm's mind began to shut down, he was panicking no doubt about it-his aqua phobia was getting the better of him._

_At the last moment when he thought his lungs would burst Matthew dragged him up out of the water._

'_Pathetic,' he sneered. 'You call yourself a Reed?'_

_Malcolm coughed and spluttered, his heart racing._

__

"Could it be the entity outside that's causing this?" Archer wanted to know.

"It's possible, but Captain you must remember that medically speaking there is nothing wrong with him," Phlox replied sighing.

"If it is the entity, why don't we just move the ship away?" Trip suggested.

Phlox and Archer looked at each other.

"Worth a try," Archer shrugged.

He crossed the room and hit the comm.

"Archer to the Bridge."

"Go ahead Captain."

"Take us away from the entity, nice and slow."

"Yessir."

The occupants of sickbay waited with baited breath.

For a few seconds it seemed to be working then a low ongoing beep emitted from the monitor.

His heart had stopped beating.

**0000 Please review, makes my day! 0000**


	8. Matthew's reasoning

**000 Disclaimerme no own 000 Yay! I finally got the next chapter up!! This is now has about two or three chapters to go and then it's done so I'll just do my happy dance now! Thanks for all the reviews!! But unfortunately Soultoast this story ain't gonna feature ninja's I blame it on a flaw on my part lol! 000**

_The water surrounding Malcolm disappeared and he collapsed onto a cold hard black floor, trying to catch his breath._

_Matthew looked up in annoyance._

'_Your friends are fools,' he spat, slamming his hand down round Malcolm's mouth closing off his airway. 'If I die I take you with me.'_

_Malcolm struggled wildly, his arms flailing as he fought to breath, but eventually he went limp._

'_Now we wait,' said Matthew through clenched teeth. 'If they care about you we can get back to business in no time.'_

Archer and Trip stepped back watching in horror as Phlox fought to make Malcolm breath.

"Cap'n we've gotta go back! It's killin' him!" Trip exclaimed.

Archer turned back to the comm.

"Take us back Travis!"

"Sir?"

"You heard me take us back quickly!"

"Aye sir."

_Matthew looked up again and nodded smugly releasing Malcolm and thumping his chest, noting with no small satisfaction that a rib broke beneath his fist._

_Malcolm took a deep breath his eyes snapping open._

_Matthew dragged him to his feet._

'_Right, now your friends have decided to do the intelligent thing we can get back down to business,' he said grinning._

_Malcolm couldn't reply-not yet, there wasn't enough breath in his lungs or enough voice left within him to make a sound._

'_A long time ago a man wrote a book,' said Matthew beaming. 'He had this idea that everyman had a Room 101. You know the book I'm talking about-after all you have read it.'_

_He paused a moment for Malcolm to digest this information before continuing._

'_This room contained their deepest fear, so what I've decided to do is to open up your Room 101. Although yours has a twist. This room contains everything you've ever feared.'_

_Malcolm looked on fearfully, unable to move._

'_I expect you're wondering why I'm doing this,' said Matthew thoughtfully. 'Well it's basically because I'd be doing you a favour, I'd like to think of this as my final act as your big brother. I'm doing this for you Malcolm-I'm doing this so you won't have to live your pathetic little existence, lonely and friendless.'_

_Matthew stopped for a moment._

'_Yes, I'm doing this for you,' he said and for a moment he looked unsure. Then he straightened. 'Actually more for me than you, I'm doing you a favour by showing you what a pathetic person you are but mainly it's for me. You see, you got to live your life and still do whatever the hell you wanted but I.........' _

_Matthew stopped again and shook his head as if to clear it. Then he turned and decked Malcolm sending him skidding backwards across the cold black floor._

They sighed with relief as the heart monitor began showing signs of life.

"Captain," said Phlox evenly. "I would suggest we don't attempt that again."

Archer nodded in agreement and focused on the rise and fall of his officer's chest.

"We have to help 'em," said Trip his face still registering shock. "We can't leave him like this."

_Matthew stormed over and grabbed Malcolm hauling him to his feet._

'_Enough talk for now,' he snapped. 'We must be getting on, I'd hate for you to be late for your own death.'_

_Malcolm suddenly came to his senses and started to struggled against Matthew, trying to break free from his vice like grip. Matthew hit him once before dragging him across the floor, ignoring him as he tried to break free from his grip. _

_Finally he yanked him to his feet once more in front of a door. _

'_Welcome to your Room 101.'_

**0000 Please review!! 0000**


	9. New Game

**000 I don't own Enterprise at all 000 Well after not updating this since last October I realised this deserved some attention, it's nearing it's end, a couple of chapters left I reckon. Thanks to all those who reviewed its nice to know people are still reading this even if it is slightly more confusing than I would like but hey never mind :D so hopefully you'll like this chapter 000**

_At first there was nothing, only darkness. But Malcolm feared the darkness, he feared what he would see when it cleared, he feared the unknown monsters lurking just out of his reach waiting for him. Movement was impossible, a combination of fear and sheer exhaustion kept him rooted to the spot. _

_Then it began. _

_The darkness receded and his was back in his childhood bedroom. The model boats sat on dust free shelves and no toys were out on the pristine carpet. The only teddy of the room sat on the desk, just out of reach from the bed. But the wardrobe door was open slightly as was the bedroom door just letting in the thinnest shaft of light from the hall. Malcolm glanced down at himself, along with the surroundings he'd also changed. He turned his hands and shivered in the darkness from his perch on the bed, desperately trying to draw comfort from the thin shaft of light._

_His adult logic was pushed back and his childhood fear of the darkness returned._

'_Monsters come out at night Mally,' Matthews voice echoed. 'Especially 'cause when the monsters in the dark get you no one can hear you scream!'_

_The bedroom door slammed shut and Malcolm dived under his duvet._

'_See, even though you know that this isn't real, your adult self is telling you to stop being stupid,' said Matthew thoughtfully. 'But your child self is afraid. Can you feel it Mally? Can you feel the fear? Your heart rates increasing, you're even beginning to sweat.' Matthew chuckled. 'Hell you might even wet yourself in a minute.'_

_The wardrobe shook ever so slightly and the door creaked open an inch further._

_The duvet was ripped from him and Malcolm cried out._

_But nothing happened. Breathing heavily he opened his eyes that he didn't even realise he'd closed._

_The dark had returned._

'_Where next?' Matthew's voice echoed round him. 'Older memory? Newer memory? Urgh, definitely older can't stand the sentimental crap of these newer ones. The "I'll never leave a man behind" crap that that Captain of yours keeps spouting. And the animal analogies don't even get me started on those!'_

_The scene shifted again to a long dark street. It was raining and Malcolm realised his clothes were soaked through._

'_Oh the cliché,' Matthew drawled. 'Dark, stormy street, the stuff horror films are made of. Next there'll be lightening and some dark mysterious figure lurking in the shadows.'_

_Suddenly the scene froze._

'_I wish those feckless idiots would stop trying to rouse you,' Matthew snapped. 'I'm gonna have to bring them here at this rate.'_

"_What?" Malcolm's head snapped up momentarily free of the restraint of his memory. "You leave them out of this!"_

'_Or you'll do what?' Matthew scoffed. 'Scream me to death? In case you've forgotten I'm already dead, extreme blood loss will do that for you.'_

_There was a long pause._

'_You're afraid of them being here,' said Matthew a twisted grin on his face. 'Typical Mally, I'm trying to scare the crap out of you and all you're worried about is your commanding officers being here to see it. Christ you need some serious therapy! Priorities Mally! Priorities!'_

Matthew suddenly appeared in front of the extremely surprised people in sickbay and casually sat on the empty biobed next to Malcolm.

'Look, could you stop with the trying to save him act,' he said impatiently. 'It's seriously distracting from what I want to do! I mean have you any idea how hard it is trying to work out his mind while having annoying voices constantly trying to wake him? And you know what the sad thing is? While I'm trying to keep his attention the one thing he's worried about are you lot and his sister. He's worried about himself obviously but he seems to have just given in. Disappointing really.'

"Sonofa," Trip lunged for him but his fist past straight through Matthew's face.

'I really wish you would remember you can't hurt dead people,' Matthew sighed melodramatically. 'Seeing as how I'm already dead.'

"But you aren't dead," said Archer stepping protectively in front of Trip and Malcolm. "You are not Matthew Reed. You're the entity outside and therefore I can hurt you."

'I'm quaking in fear I assure you,' Matthew yawned 'You won't do anything because you want to save Mally here. God, I love you people! I tell you that from everyone who's been to see me I like you lot the best. You're so interesting, I've really liked learning from you Captain honestly I have.'

"If all ya wanted to do was learn what the hell are ya doing with Malcolm?" Trip spat. "That isn't learnin'! It's torture!"

Matthew suddenly leapt forward and disappeared. Archer and Trip let out a gasp of surprise before hitting the deck plating.

"_MATTHEW!" Malcolm yelled. "I GIVE IN! BRITISH BULLDOG! BRITISH BULLDOG! YOU LEAVE THEM ALONE!"_

_Matthew tutted._

'_Mally, it's just not that simple any more,' he said patting Malcolm's head. 'Now you stay still a moment.'_

_Malcolm froze completely helpless._

'_Good boy,' said Matthew patronisingly. 'Now you just stay like that while I get your friends settled-you have to be on your best behaviour for guests Mally.'_

**000 Please review, criticism and helpful comments always welcome 000**


	10. From elbow to wrist

**0000 Disclaimer, I don't own anything 0000 Wow! Huge thanks to everyone who reviewed! Thanks for being so incredibly patient with my lack of updating skills-its schoolwork; it's all school's fault! Well, this story has about two more chapters left maybe one-it depends :D 0000**

_Matthew walked away from Malcolm._

'_Don't worry Mally, I haven't forgotten about you,' he called over his shoulder._

_Malcolm remained frozen._

_Matthew sauntered over to where Trip and Archer were currently being held, strapped down to chairs, mouths gagged._

'_Captain! Commander!' he said brightly. 'So nice you could join us, sorry about the state of the place-blood's a bitch to shift.'_

_Both men tugged violently at the restraints holding them down._

'_Boys, don't insult your intelligence by thinking you can escape,' Matthew tutted. 'Remember, you're in my brother's head now. Escape is impossible, unless Malcolm suddenly grows a spine in the next few minutes, which I severely doubt will happen.' Matthew sat down beside them. 'Besides, he's going to get a little preoccupied.'_

_The scene before them suddenly slid back into motion and they watched as Malcolm continued walking down the street._

'_This is only scary for him,' Matthew commented. 'You see, at this point he's walking home after taking Madeline to her friend's house. He doesn't like walking alone, especially at night; he was a prime-target for the neighbourhood gangs as a kid.'_

'_Poor thing,' he added unconvincingly._

_Malcolm became aware of people moving towards him, he inadvertently stiffened, bowed his down even further and increased his pace slightly. He dared a look._

"_Well, look what we have here," a voice whispered in his ear. "Little Malcolm Reed out all on his own."_

'_Freddie Wilcox,'Matthew commented. 'Strong, intelligent and with a bunch of stupid friends willing to do his dirty work.'_

_Malcolm tried to get past them but strong arms pulled him back._

"_We didn't say you could leave," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "Where have you been Weedy Reedy?"_

"_Nowhere," said Malcolm, trying to look braver than he felt, wishing his heart wasn't beating so loudly._

"_That must be really boring," Freddie turned to his group of friends. "Tell you what, why don't we play a game."_

"_I've got to get home," said Malcolm trying to pull away again._

"_I didn't say you had a choice," Freddie snarled. He looked up at his gang and smiled. "Well boys, what shall we play?"_

"_How about 'chicken'?"_

_Malcolm's eyes widened and he immediately began twisting to release himself from Freddie's iron grip._

"_I've got to get home," he said pleadingly. _

"_And you can go home," said Freddie patronisingly. "After one game."_

_Malcolm was dragged into the middle of the road._

"_There's no car coming," said another boy disappointedly._

_Malcolm sighed with relief only to received a sharp blow to the back of his head, he stumbled forward._

"_Yes result!" Freddie exclaimed seeing the glow of headlights. "Wait for it lads, wait for it!"_

_Malcolm couldn't move, everything fibre of his being was screaming at him to get out the way but he just couldn't respond. As the headlights drew ever closer and the boys laughter became just a roar in his ears, Malcolm thought he'd die of a heart attack even before the car hit. He screamed just once._

_Something slammed into his side and the scene melted away._

_Matthew turned to Archer and Trip._

'_The car didn't actually hit him,' he said conversationally.' Mum had sent me looking for him, the second Freddie's gang saw me-well let's just say I had previous dealings with them. I pushed him out the way, little moron wouldn't move, I don't know why I did it.'_

_He sighed theatrically._

_Trip and Archer gurgled something furiously in the back of their throats but Matthew just smiled._

'_Don't get your skivvies in a twist, he's alright.'_

_Malcolm struggled to his feet breathing heavily and Matthew walked over to him._

'_I'm bored of this now,' said Matthew. 'You're childhood fears are excessively boring. You couldn't at least fear something worth watching when you were a kid.'_

"_What have you done with them?" Malcolm managed staggering slightly. "Matthew, leave them alone."_

_Matthew studied him a moment._

"_Matt," Malcolm tried. "C'mon Matt, leave them alone. Please. Then you can do whatever you want with me. Please, Matt, leave them alone, this is just a family thing."_

_An odd expression crossed Matthew's face._

'_Trying to use brotherly affection to get round me eh Mally,' he drawled. 'Is this concern for them talking, or your fear of them knowing all your dirty little secrets?'_

_Malcolm fell silent and Matthew pushed him back down to the ground in disgust._

'_Let's go back shall we?' Matthew snarled suddenly. 'To the day you just stood there while I lay bleeding on the ground. To the day you betrayed me. To the day you just watched me die and DIDN'T DO A DAMNED THING TO HELP ME!'_

_The black around them shifted, till they were in the hallway of Malcolm's childhood home. Malcolm looked down at his hands only to see he was holding his tattered notebook, the one that contained every poem he'd ever written. He opened it; one of the pages was missing._

_Matthew disappeared. Malcolm got to his feet and walked up to one of the doors._

"_Matthew," he said timidly. _

_The door slid open to a seemingly empty room. The bed was unmade, school books were strewn across the carpet and an unfinished model boat was sat on the desk. Malcolm took a step into the room, his heart already beating a tattoo against his chest. Something caught his eye. _

_He took another step into the room and simply stared open-mouthed._

_Matthew was laid on the ground in front of him, his eyes closed, his skin unnaturally pale and his blood in a large pool on the ground beside him. The torn page from Malcolm's notebook was lying next to him, the bottom of the page already stained red._

_Matthew's arms were slit from elbow to wrist._

_It finally hit Malcolm and he backed away falling backwards onto the bed screaming. He screamed till he was hoarse and didn't stop screaming till his mother burst into the room._

_The scene froze but Malcolm remained huddled on the bed. Matthew stood up and advanced on him._

'_WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP ME!' he bellowed furiously. 'YOU STOOD THERE AND WATCHED ME DIE AND YOU DIDN'T DO A BLOODY THING TO HELP ME! I NEEDED HELP AND YOU ABANDONED ME!'_

"_No," Malcolm whispered crying. "Slit wrists are a cry for help, you slit from elbow to wrist, and you wanted to die."_

'_No!' Matthew spat. 'I wanted you to help me and you abandoned me."_

"_You were already dead when I got here," Malcolm cried. "There was nothing I could do! You were already dead! You were already dead!"_

_Trip and Archer watched on horrified, tugging manically at their restraints, trying to call out to him through their gags. But it was no use._

_Matthew seized hold of Malcolm and literally threw him across the room. Malcolm bounced across the floor and skidded to a halt at Archer's feet._

'_You were always afraid I'd come back,' Matthew sneered. 'You were always afraid people would realise what you'd done.' _

_Malcolm cowered on the floor unable to find his voice again._

'_Well now people know,' said Matthew nodding his head towards Archer and Trip. 'They know your dirty little secret. But because I'm a good big brother I'll make sure they never tell.'_

_Malcolm raised his head just as Matthew brought out a phase pistol from nowhere._

"_No!" Malcolm screamed. "God No!"_

_Archer's face registered one of complete shock as Matthew fired-a sadistic smile playing on his lips._

**000 Please review-it always helps! 000**


	11. Blanking out

**000 Disclaimer, I own nothing 000 Thanks for all the reviews and for being so patient with waiting for this update. There's not much to say about this chapter but if you have any questions afterwards drop me a line…oh and the chapter might change at a later date (might change!) 000**

_It was one of those cheesy moments in films. The ones where time slows as the hero/heroine dies saving the day, sad music would play and all other diagetic noise from the scene would fade away. _

_Unfortunately, the hero/heroine was missing from this scene. There was no sad music and no diagetic noise fading eerily into the background. Time in its essence seemed to slow. But the shot from Matthew's phase pistol merely faded away. Archer and Trip had both disappeared without a trace._

_Malcolm let out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. Matthew smirked, the phase pistol hanging loosely in his hand. He was taunting him, mocking him, standing just beyond his feeble reach. He was trying to push him to the edge; he was trying to break him…_

"_There's nothing left to break," Malcolm whispered to himself._

'_What? There are plenty of things left to break,' said Matthew laughing. 'Bones for one, they always make such a satisfying sound when they break.'_

"_Me," said Malcolm rising to his feet. He hurt-everything hurt-but he could stand. He could stand and face Matthew. "You can't break me."_

'_I could if I wanted to,' said Matthew idly. 'Mind, spirit and body. It's not even challenging anymore.'_

"_You can't break me," Malcolm repeated his voice finding strength._

_Silence followed but Malcolm could barely even hear himself breathing. Thoughts that had been thundering round his head, emotions battering every decision, they had all silenced. He looked at his brother and felt nothing._

_There was nothing left to feel._

_Matthew's expression changed to that of concern._

'_Mally?' he asked in an almost brotherly tone. 'Malcolm? Say something!'_

"_You can't break what's already broken," said Malcolm shrugging sadly. "There's nothing left to break. There's nothing left. I used to look at you and feel fear. I used to visit your grave and feel guilt. I used to stare into your room and feel anger. But I look at you now and feel nothing. Nothing is the only feeling I have left."_

_Matthew suddenly disappeared leaving a ball of red light in his wake._

'_You really are fascinating creatures,' it said. 'You suffer through so many feelings and yet you can reach the point where you feel nothing at all. It's absolutely fascinating. I've seen many species in my time but none quite like yours!'_

_Malcolm said nothing, this new turn of events had thrown him and his mind was once again in complete chaos as if his emotions had suddenly rebooted._

'_Of course I didn't just study you,' it said. 'Not at first. But when I discovered your brother I knew I had to make you revisit those memories so I could learn more! Fear is so incredible! I just wanted to see how far you'd go. I wanted to see if you had a limit.'_

_Malcolm sank down to his knees, hot, angry tears threatening to spill._

"_It was all a test," he choked out. "It was nothing but a game to you."_

'_It was fun while it latest though,' it said. It made an odd sound. 'I've achieved my purpose now, I'll move onto someone else. I want to see about this 'love' next.'_

"_What!" Malcolm bellowed. "You can't just leave! I'm not emotionless! You can't just put me through all this bullshit; expect me to just stand up afterwards and wish you well! It doesn't happen like that! You impersonated my brother. My dead brother! You tried to kill me from the inside out_! _You systematically set out to destroy me!"_

'_No, I set out to learn,' it said. 'Now I've learnt I'll leave you alone. Go do whatever the hell you want.'_

_He stared up in disbelief and something inside him clicked. This was too much, too much to handle in one go. It was just too much. _

_Malcolm felt the odd sensation of being thrown backwards and then…_

He opened his eyes.

"Malcolm!" Trip exclaimed.

"Get us out of here now!" Archer yelled into the comm.

"Lieutenant," said Phlox soothingly. "Lieutenant look at me."

But Malcolm didn't respond. He just kept staring. His mind had shut down. He had no fight left in him, no logic left to explain why this had happened and no reason for why he couldn't process it all. So, he just shut down. Thinking was overrated anyway.

**000 Please review! 000**


	12. Fury and Guilt

**000 Disclaimer, I own nothing 000 Ok, huge thanks and apologies to everyone. I know this hasn't been updated in a while but thats been due to my GCSE's (which still aren't finished yet but I thought I'd take a break from 'revising' to write this chapter) So massive thanks to everyone who reviewed. I hope you all like this chapter as there's only one left to come after this, and that will hopefully be stuck up soon. Anyway, read on! 000**

The ship suddenly shuddered, throwing everyone off balance. Archer smacked the comm. with his palm. "Bridge. What the hell is going on?"

"The being appears to have taken control of the helm," said T'Pol's voice calmly. "We are unable to move."

Archer glanced back at his frozen officer. Malcolm simply stared at a space on the wall; there was nothing to suggest he recognised where he was or who he was with. He just sat and stared.

Matthew materialised in the room and threw Trip out of his way. Trip slammed into the wall and slid down.

Archer lunged for him, but Matthew was too quick and a well aimed punch sent the Captain flying.

'_Malcolm!' _Matthew yelled furiously. _'What the hell have you done to me?'_

Malcolm didn't reply his gaze still fixed on the wall; he didn't even look up as Matthew proceeded to attack everyone in the room screaming his name over and over.

'_Answer me!'_ Matthew booted Archer's ribcage and bounced his head off a nearby biobed. _'I'll kill them all! Answer me! Malcolm, what the hell did you do to me?'_

Trip dived for Matthew. "Leave him alone!" He and Matthew went sprawling to the ground. "What? Not gonna go see-through this time?" Trip punched him and felt Matthew's nose crunch beneath his fist.

Matthew let out a cry of rage and threw Trip off him, knocking the engineer unconscious. For the first time Malcolm moved. His head swivelled towards Matthew and he started to laugh. Matthew stormed over, roughly grabbing hold of Malcolm and shaking him.

'_What did you do?' _He screamed. _'I can't do it anymore! I can't access anyone's mind except yours! What have you done to me? What have you done to me!'_

Malcolm kept laughing and Matthew released him, glaring down at Malcolm disgusted. Matthew back-handed Malcolm across the face, Malcolm tumbled over the side of the biobed.

'_Undo it now!' _Matthew commanded, throwing Malcolm back onto the biobed. _'Undo whatever the hell you did to me now! Do it now or I'll kill them all!'_

Malcolm stopped laughing and Matthew watched with satisfaction as Malcolm's gaze flickered over to his friends. Malcolm returned his gaze to Matthew's face. "Not if they kill you first." Like an avenging angel Archer rose up and brought a large object down on Matthew's head.

'_Oh…' _was all Matthew managed before he disappeared.

The ship lurched violently. Malcolm grabbed hold of Archer as he stumbled forward nearly falling over again himself. Archer pushed himself up and turned round as the ship stilled. He smacked the comm. "Bridge. Report."

"We have regained full helm control; Ensign Mayweather is moving the ship away."

Archer sighed with relief, resting his head on the wall a moment before turning back to help sort out the injured. Malcolm resumed staring at the wall, hugging his knees to his chest. Matthew was gone, he couldn't believe it, he wouldn't believe it, not until they were a million light-years away and even then, he still wouldn't believe it.

People milled around the room, treating all the injuries Matthew had inflicted, Malcolm let them work without question or argument. It was his fault all this had happened. It was his fault; the alien took the memory of Matthew from his mind and used that memory to wreak havoc on the crew. His colleagues…his friends had all suffered injury because of him.

When everyone had left his side to see to the others Malcolm leapt up and ran from the room. He didn't know where he was going, but he kept running. He passed crewmembers, but no one reacted quickly enough to stop him. Eventually he ended up back at his quarters, immediately he sealed the door and locked it with every combination he knew.

He slid down the door, ending in a crumpled heap on the floor. Hot tears pricked the inside of his eyes but he didn't bother to wipe them away. An old nursery rhyme floated into his head and he recited it softly:

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

And all the King's horses,

And all the King's men,

Couldn't put Humpty together again."

He stared out the window and wondered just how long it would take for them to get through. A sudden urge to write overtook him and he reached for one of the empty pads on the desk. He almost laughed, thinking how everyone would react if they knew he wrote poetry-used to write poetry-and whatever else came into his head. He wondered what they would say if they knew everything, whether they'd judged him like so many had before.

A wave of guilt crashed through him as he remembered what he'd done. He'd put the ship in danger, an image of his brother had harmed many of his colleagues and all this had come from his memories. It had all originated with him.

The alien entity had learnt fear, malice and anger from him.

He threw the pad aside guiltily and rose to his feet, out the corner of his eye he could see his razor glinting enticingly in the bathroom.

**000 Please review, all comments and suggestions are welcomed with open arms 000**


	13. The Contemplation of Razors

**000 Disclaimer, I own nothing 000 Huge, massive, gigantic thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story for all your suggestions and kind comments. This is the second to last chapter, I'm definitely gonna post an epilogue at some point So any suggestions after reading this chapter would be greatly appreciated. Hope you like this :) 000**

Malcolm tested the weight of the razor in his palm. It was so light, something he used everyday without a thought. It was what Matthew had used to slit his arms when Malcolm was only 15.

Shouts and thuds played against his door as Malcolm returned to his bed, but the noise seemed a million miles away as he contemplated the razor in his hand.

**000**

"Open this door!" Archer yelled, pounding it furiously. He had already tried to override the door code but it wouldn't accept the override. "Malcolm!"

Beside him Trip had the door panel off and was fiddling frantically with the wires and circuits. "To hell with this!" Trip snapped suddenly, ripping out several wires the door slid open a fraction. Together they both forced the door open halfway, Trip slipped through just as the door shut again, leaving Archer stood staring at the door in frustration.

Trip stared in horror at Malcolm. His friend was laid on the bed and Trip could just make out the razor in his hand. "Oh God…"

The room was too dark for Trip to see much, but he could tell that Malcolm wasn't moving. "Oh God…" He crossed the room quickly and nearly passed out with relief when Malcolm suddenly raised his head to look at him.

"Don't do it," Trip blurted out.

Malcolm looked down at the razor again. Trip wanted to dive forward and snatch the razor from Malcolm's hand, but he couldn't move. It was as if his legs had turned to stone and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't make himself move, it was almost as if subconsciously he was afraid that any sudden movement would harm Malcolm.

"Do what?" Malcolm asked softly, twisting the razor round in his fingers.

"Kill yourself."

Malcolm looked up sharply. "Would that bother you?"

Trip stared at Malcolm in shock. Malcolm gestured to the chair nearby and offered Trip a hollow smile. Trip sat down slowly. The situation seemed so surreal; here was Malcolm, a razor in hand, offering him a seat.

"Did you know," Malcolm continued softly. "That slit wrists are a cry for help. If someone really wanted to die they should slice from elbow to wrist." He demonstrated with the razor, but didn't actually slice his skin. Trip shuddered slightly.

"Who told you that?" Trip asked

Malcolm smirked. "My biology teacher." He stared at the razor again and sighed. "That's how Matthew did it you know."

Trip moved closer. "What?"

"Didn't you notice the scars?" Malcolm asked sounding faintly surprised. "He killed himself Trip, I came home one day and found him with his arms slit from elbow to wrist."

Trip realised the answer to his question as soon as he'd asked it, after all he'd seen it. He watched Malcolm move the razor and Trip suddenly grabbed Malcolm's wrist. "Don't Malcolm. Just don't."

"Don't what?"

Trip felt something warm run across his fingers. When he had grabbed Malcolm's wrist, Malcolm had instinctively gripped the razor harder and in doing so had pierced his skin, letting blood trickle down his wrist. Trip shuddered.

"Don't do what Matthew did," said Trip eventually, trying to ignore the sensation of Malcolm's blood running across his skin.

Malcolm released his grip on the razor and held it out on his palm. Trip snatched it away with his free hand and tossed it away to another corner of the room. Malcolm laughed softly for a second and Trip scowled.

"This isn't funny!" Trip snapped, his nerves wearing thin.

"You're right, it isn't." Malcolm stopped laughing and gazed at Trip a moment. "You were worried."

"Damn right I was worried! You just took off!" Trip paused and took a deep breath. "We came to your quarters, found the door locked and then when I finally get you're just sat here holding a razor. I thought you were already dead!"

The room lapsed into silence as Malcolm seemed to think about Trip's words. Trip still hadn't relinquished the hold on Malcolm's wrist.

"I don't want to die," Malcolm whispered, now engrossed in the cut on his palm from the razor.

"I don't want you to die either," Trip let go of Malcolm and stared helplessly at his friend. He had no idea how to proceed. "Malcolm, no one wants you to die, we're worried about you."

"I only came here to think, I only wanted somewhere to think," said Malcolm shifting away from Trip. "Everyone would've tried to get me to talk about it and I don't want to talk about it yet. I want to be able to process everything before I have to tell everyone about my sordid past." He threw Trip a bitter look. "The razor reminded me of things I'd tried to forget. If I ever choose to end my life I wouldn't use a razor."

Trip blinked. "You wouldn't?"

Malcolm shook his head and offered Trip a hollow smile. "If I was ever to take my life, I wouldn't take it the same way Matthew did."

"You don't want to though, do you?"

Malcolm shook his head. "I just wanted time alone."

Trip nodded. "So, you're ok then?" He grimaced as soon as the question left his lips. Stupid question to ask.

"It all depends on your definition of ok." Malcolm sighed.

"None of this was your fault," said Trip forcefully. "None of it, it could have happened to anyone. We could have all been running away from my brother. It wasn't your fault, Malcolm."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to be alone for a while."

Trip didn't move. "It's not good for you to be alone right now." His eyes flickered involuntarily back to the razor.

"When dealing with Matthew, I've always been alone."

"Malcolm…"

"It's alright," Malcolm cut in. "I wouldn't have wished him on anybody."

"It wasn't your fault, Malcolm."

"It was, it's my job to protect you."

Trip snorted suddenly. "I don't think it's written anywhere in the Armoury Officer's job description that you have to protect the crew from something that can't be fought. No one blames you, the only person laying any blame on you is you. Now, lets get back to sickbay before the Cap'n takes a plasma torch to the door."

**000 Please review 000**


	14. No Peace

**000 Disclaimer, I own nothing 000 A huge, massive thanks to everyone who reviewed, I'm sorry I haven't updated this in a while but I got distracted by GCSE results :), that and a huge bout of writers block, so anyway, enjoy 000**

Malcolm stared at the ceiling. It felt disconcerting to have so many people fussing over him. In hindsight, he probably shouldn't have run off in the first place but he just needed to escape.

Now, as he lay there, once more counting the ceiling tiles, he contemplated his brother. Had he ever recovered from his ordeal with Matthew? Probably not with denial being the wonderful thing it was. Would he ever recover? Maybe.

Would he ever be able to look his colleagues in the eye without feeling guilty? No.

For a second, he thought about asking for a transfer, a transfer away to stop this from ever happening again. But then he realised that he wouldn't want the transfer for that reason, he wanted it so he wouldn't have to face his friends and feel the guilt.

Malcolm decided to stay. The guilt would be a fitting punishment and a helpful reminder of why he could never fail.

"Hey Mal."

The cheery voice pulled him from his thoughts; Malcolm looked up and focused on the person beside him. It was Trip. Malcolm nodded to him in greeting without looking him in the eyes.

Trip pulled across a chair and sat down. "We're light-years away from whatever that thing was, so he ain't gonna be bothering you again."

Malcolm nodded again. He didn't believe Trip's words for one second. He could almost see his brother stood watching him in as he lay there. Sure, the entity might not physically be there, but it was still there.

"Anyway," Trip began before faltering and lapsing into silence.

Malcolm inwardly steeled himself. Trip wasn't going to keep up a one-sided conversation forever; it was time for a little normality. He opened his mouth to say something but Trip beat him to it.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," the automatic response simply rolled off the tongue.

Trip sighed and leaned forward. "Mal, you don't have to pretend. We're all here for you."

Malcolm thought about telling Trip everything, he thought about baring his soul. He sighed, he couldn't, not yet. Instead he said simply "I know you are."

"Forget about the damned 'no fraternising' rule that's been ingrained into your soul, I'm your friend, I'm here to help," said Trip running his hand through his hair. "God, Malcolm. That thing messed with your head, I can't even begin to imagine what that's like, but I know it isn't something you can handle on your own."

"I'm tired," said Malcolm quietly. "I'd really like to sleep now."

"Don't push me away!"

Malcolm looked into Trip's eyes and felt a rush of guilt. "Not everything can be solved with a good conversation and a pat on the back. I need time."

"When you're ready, I'll be here for you."

Trip fell silent. Malcolm turned away and closed his eyes.

"_Hello little brother."_

_Malcolm turned around. His gaze fell on his older brother. Matthew smiled moved closer. Malcolm flinched and tried to move but found himself frozen to the spot._

"_There's no peace in sleep," he whispered. "There's no peace in death."_

_Matthew laughed delightedly. "How right you are!"_

_Malcolm abruptly closed his mouth._

"_They told you your nice ship had left me right where I was," Matthew smirked. He gave Malcolm a look of mock sympathy. "Well, I'm sorry, Mally, but us Reed's have to stick together right? I couldn't just leave you alone, not when you're like this."_

_Malcolm opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Matthew laughed coldly and hugged Malcolm tightly. "Don't worry, Mally," Matthew whispered in his ear. "It's gonna be alright. I'm here for you."_

_Malcolm started to tremble and Matthew patted Malcolm's back. "I'll always be here, Mally. Always." Matthew's face suddenly hardened. "That's a promise."_

**000 Please review, any thoughts, comments, suggestions are always welcomed 000**


	15. Truth

**000 Disclaimer, I own nothing, none of these characters belong to me 000 Ok, here it is, the last chapter (apart from the epilogue-if I decide to do one :P), this story's been a long time in the WIP folder and I'd just like to thank all those who took the time to read and review the last chapter : HAD1, Roaring Mice (Yep, Malcolm's in sickbay), wofling, GoddessAnjanee, Jazzy, soultoast, Buggles586, Tata and Scifi-Warper (I feel honoured!) 000**

Trip wandered into sickbay, Phlox greeted him at the door with a nod.

"He's asleep," Phlox told him anticipating what Trip would ask. "But you can sit with him if you'd like."

Trip nodded and pulled up a chair to the side of the biobed Malcolm was laid on. Malcolm was twitching slightly and his right hand worried the blanket. Even in sleep he seemed tense, nervous…afraid?

Malcolm suddenly cried out, but didn't open his eyes. Phlox hurried over as Malcolm began mumbling under his breath and thrashing about. On impulse Trip grabbed Malcolm's shoulders and shook him. "Malcolm! Wake up…it's me Trip, you're ok, you're ok…"

Malcolm didn't respond to them, he didn't wake, Trip looked at Phlox. "It's back."

_Malcolm shuddered. He could feel Matthews's breath on his cheek as his brother hugged him tightly._

'_It's just me and you, Mally, just us Reed boys, back together like we used to be…best friends – do you remember?'_

_Malcolm felt a lump rise in throat, he did remember, he did remember a time when Matthew had been his protector – his best friend. Matthew pulled away from him and Malcolm stared straight into his eyes._

_Fear rippled through him as Matthew smiled that twisted smile of his. He wanted to run, he wanted to run far away, but his legs refused to move and his hands involuntarily curled into fists._

_A split second later, Malcolm watched as his fist crashed into the side of Matthew's face sending his brother flying. Malcolm's fist didn't pass through Matthew this time, it had collided with something solid._

_Malcolm felt hope surge within him, he could fight him here!_

'_You hit me,' said Matthew amused, rising his feet. His face hardened. 'But don't try that again.'_

_Malcolm shrank back as his brother loomed over him, casting a menacing shadow into the nothingness surrounding them. _

'_There's a good boy,' Matthew whispered. ''No need to fight me, you'll never win.'_

_Malcolm closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He opened them and struck out causing Matthew to stumble again. "I might not win, but I'll give it a damn good go!"_

_With a roar he dived forward and rugby tackled Matthew to the ground. Matthew kicked out violently catching Malcolm's ribcage. Malcolm gasped and they both hit the ground._

_Matthew moved first throwing himself at Malcolm, pinning him the ground with his knees and punching him repeatedly. 'This, would be, so much easier, if you'd just give in,' Matthew grunted._

_Malcolm struggled against Matthew's tight hold, he couldn't give in, not again, not when he could finally strike back, he couldn't give in. He twisted over, managing to roll onto his stomach and in the process unseating Matthew._

_Malcolm kicked out as he rolled, feeling his foot impact against Matthew's head. Flipping himself back to his feet, Malcolm struck out again knocking Matthew to the ground. _

_Malcolm put his foot on Matthew's neck, fully intending to stamp down, Matthew gasped and stared up at him wildly._

_Malcolm hesitated._

'_Don't,' Matthew whispered pleading. "Please don't…'_

"_Why shouldn't I?" Malcolm snarled. "It's less than what you deserve!"_

'_I'm not really Matthew,' Matthew whimpered._

_Matthew suddenly shifted into Madeline, her wide, frightened eyes gazed up at him._

'_Malcolm, don't hurt me,' she whispered fearfully._

"_You aren't my sister," Malcolm hissed. "You aren't even human!"_

'_I only wanted to learn about emotion,' Madeline cried. 'I couldn't help it! You were all so close, your emotions just so enticing!'_

"_Then why me!"_

_Malcolm increased the pressure on Madeline's neck, avoiding looking directly at her face. "Why me!"_

'_You were just a random choice,' she gasped trying to prise his foot off her neck. 'I swear it!'_

_Malcolm weakened and removed his foot. Madeline leapt to her feet gasping and coughing._

"_I want you to leave me alone," said Malcolm quietly, feeling his heart pound in his chest._

_Madeline snorted and shifted back into Matthew. ''You think you hurt me?' he asked amused. 'You said it yourself, I'm not human – I don't breathe – moron.'_

_Malcolm's chest constricted violently, outwardly he appeared calm but inwardly he felt like he was spiralling into darkness._

_Matthew smiled. 'But I'll go, I'll disappear and you'll never physically see me again.' He tapped his head. 'But I'll always be in here, watching, it's what good brothers do.' He smiled. 'You beat me, for now - there I admit defeat! Not gone forever, just for a little while.'_

_Matthew walked up to Malcolm, who tensed. Matthew leaned over and whispered in a friendly manner, "That's my favourite thing about you humans, you'll always survive."_

_Matthew took a step back. 'Don't you see? My actions took you to the edge of the proverbial ledge and you were waiting to jump. But when I tried to push you off you turned and made a grab for life.' He grinned. 'All in all a highly enjoyable look at human behaviour.'_

_Malcolm couldn't speak, words failed him, he couldn't even begin to sort through the swirling emotions, to have tried to so hard, to have given up and then gotten back up and carried on, only to be told it was an experiment. _

"_How could you?" he whispered finally. _

_Matthew shrugged. 'No emotion, no guilt, not even empathy, as soon as I leave your mind I'll forget emotion again, you won't matter, your feelings wont matter. But I guess, there will be plenty more screams in the night for you.'_

_Matthew frowned and scratched at his arm. 'I guess right now I feel guilty, and sorry for what I did, but I'm not sorry for experiencing emotion, I'll never be sorry for that.'_

_Malcolm balled up his fists and Matthew smiled again. 'Well, it was fun learning from you; I kinda liked being your brother for a while, till next time, Mally-boy.'_

Malcolm opened his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. Matthew was gone but not without leaving his mark on Malcolm. Malcolm felt caught somewhere between elation at his victory, anger and disbelief. In the end, he expressed it the only way he could, he burst into tears and laughed at the insanity of it all.

**000 Please review, and be warned that as ever this chapter is subject to change (because new chapters of this story always make me feel indecisive) 000**


	16. Epilogue

**000 Disclaimer, I own absolutely nothing 000 Here it is people, the conclusion, its been a long road, getting from there (the beginning) to here (the end), and I have to say this is probably the strangest thing I've ever written so far.**

**See the bottom for thanks 000**

_Three Months Later _

Malcolm surveyed his surroundings; it was only what was to be expected. Starfleet had reacted badly to the report of Malcolm's traumatic experience with the alien entity. They had removed him from the Enterprise, ignoring the crew's fight to keep him, and had placed him in psychiatric care.

"Do you know why you're here?" The Doctor asked kindly.

"Because an alien entity infiltrated my head and made me think he was my dead brother before starting to torture me," Malcolm replied in monotone.

The Doctor noted something down on her clipboard. "Is…" She checked her notes again. "Matthew here now?"

"The alien is," Malcolm replied softly. "He's always here; he's studying us you see."

He felt momentarily surprised at the amount of information simply tripping off his tongue. He guessed it had something to do with the drugs they kept giving him every time 'Matthew' appeared again.

Not that the drugs helped of course. They simply locked him within the confines of his mind, alone with 'Matthew' again.

"He's studying us?" The Doctor asked, breaking his sluggish train of thought.

Malcolm nodded. "He can't feel emotions, unless he takes on our form and uses someone's memories."

"Can I see him?" The Doctor asked, a patronising edge creeping into her voice.

Malcolm laughed. "You have read the report haven't you? You do know that the entity is real and not a figment of my imagination, don't you?"

The Doctor smiled slightly, and fixed her dispassionate gaze on him. "I've read the report, Malcolm."

"I'm not crazy," Malcolm stated firmly.

The Doctor noted something down and said mildly, "I never said you were crazy."

Malcolm sighed and closed his eyes. "If you don't think I'm crazy, then why was I dumped in a Psychiatric Hospital?"

"Starfleet is just trying to ensure you get help to deal with…what happened," said the Doctor smoothly.

Malcolm opened his eyes. "Starfleet is just trying to ensure that I don't make them look bad by going insane."

The Doctor rose to her feet. "I think that's enough for today Malcolm, I will see you again soon."

"Very nice to be misunderstood by you," Malcolm muttered sarcastically before giving her a jaunty wave.

From her expression he half expected her to pat his head before leaving, but she refrained and the nurse led Malcolm back to his room.

He stared at the walls remembering the elation he had felt after winning a tiny victory against 'Matthew' winning a small slice of freedom.

He let his vision unfocus and the grey walls became a grey blur. After all that effort, all the fighting, all the pain, where had it left him?

Hidden away in some unknown Psychiatric Hospital, where screams in the night were dealt with by sedation. Ignored by Starfleet because he was a liability, dangerous to the lives of the crew he served with, dangerous to others.

And, according to the notes the Doctor had been taking, possibly suicidal.

But then, as 'Matthew' appeared in the room Malcolm found himself thinking she might be right, on the last point.

And, in a little grey room in a Psychiatric Hospital, Malcolm Reed slowly resigned himself to screams in the night.

**000 Ok, I have some people to thank for reviewing the last chapter:**

**Hovis (Thanks, I guess it did get a little repetitive, but then again, the alien entity never stopped torturing him did it:P)**

**Tata (It was strange wasn't it! lol, I totally never meant it to turn out how it did, it was meant to be just a one shot originally!)**

**Scifi-warper (Hee hee, all things must come to an end, my friend)**

**GoddessAnjanee (The crew believed him, it was just starfleet that didn't)**

**Buggles568 (Nope, no peace for poor Malcolm, I'm afraid )**

**Oh, and before I forget, feel free to review this chapter too! 000**


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